99 Sunday, December 07 Austin, TX This will be the last entry in this journal. Somewhat ironic that it's day #99 since I left. I hadn't planned it that way. It just happened. "The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say." I suppose there should be a sense of closure at this point, although there is not. I had hoped to be able to say something to the effect of "I have come full circle..." yet I have not. I am yet am not, have yet have not. I have not yet returned to Vancouver physically, although I will do so in short order, within the week. Mentally, I am far from it, yet have reached no discernable destination. I am in limbo, neither here nor there. Neither where I started nor where I would like to go. For further disserrtation, the entry for Nov. 21 (Trenton, NJ) covers things well, and goes over ground that I have no inclination to rehash here. Things have changed little since then. But enough of this. I grow more somber and melancholy daily, it seems. So what have I been up to recently? And why has there been such a gap (2 weeks) since my last entry? And finally, how have I made such good time lately? The answers are all intertwined. The fact of the matter is that I must, as previously noted, be in Vancouver by mid-December. This being the case, I shipped the bike back, and continued by bus. But this, again, is going over old ground, something I promised myself not to do. This entry will be long enough as it is. From Philadelphia, I continued south to Washington DC, were I spent a few interesting days. Spent Thanksgiving (American) with friends/work colleagues who proved to be extremely hospitable. I had, in fact, a very enjoyable Thanksgiving. I certainly had no lack of food to eat... okay, we won't go there :) In Washington, it was entirely a "tourist" stop. I did a whirlwind tour of everything there was to see. Capitol; White House (Exterior only -- lines were too long); the Mall; Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson and FDR Memorials; Holocaust Museum, Smithsonian (man, that place is HUGE...!); FBI bldg, Naval museum; National Mint & Engraving ctr... the list continues. Looking back, I find it hard to imagine I did all that in 4 days. The Smithsonian alone took almost 2 full days -- it's no less than 13 buildings. A busy time, certainly. From Washington to West Virginia by bus. A few people to see there. And then to Texas in the one proverbial fell swoop. Eating McDonalds hamburgers all the way :) There is a story behing that one. I hadn't originally meant to include it, but one of my friends who heard it thought it was so funny that he insisted I did, so: In Charleston (West Virginia), there is a McDonalds. I was in Charleston for a day or two, and on my way to the bus station, I passed this particular McDonalds. Big banner out front: "29 cent Hamburgers! Today only!" We have all been to McDonalds (or some equivalent fast-food joint). What this *means* is you get a 29 cent hamburger with the purchase of any medium-sized soft drink and any size fries, right? That's a given (okay, so I'm cynical). O well... it was dinnertime and I was hungry. I went in to find out that I was wrong. 29 cent hamburgers. End of story. Tax included, no other purchase necessary. No limit. (insert animation of rusty cog-wheels grinding around inside Sean's head.) I am going to be on the bus for 3 days before I get to Texas. I may get hungry. No limit. Okay, I'll order 30 of them. 8 and something dollars; This seems like a good deal. (Cut to 3 days later... on a Greyhound bus somewhere in Northern Texas. We see Sean sitting on a seat, a big cardboard box sitting on the rack overhead. Sean reaches up, into the box, feels 2 hamburgers left, takes one out. Looks at it, sniffs it. God. Another cold, stale hamburger. It's all he's been eating for 3 days.) I swear, if I even *smell* another McDonalds hamburger, I will be quite sick. I did finish them, though (for what it's worth). It would, however, take quite an effort to convince me at this stage to enter a McDonalds. Well... there's my humorous anecdote for the day. Was it worth it? Feedback? hehe... O well... not that it really matters. So at any rate, here I am in Austin. It's wonderful. Being back in the desert, that is. Not that Austin is really in the desert, it's more the plains still. But it's nice and warm. I can walk around in my T-shirt. Comfortably. And it *smells* like the desert. I had a bus change in Temple before arriving yesterday. Temple is about 60 miles north of Austin. Although it's a reasonable size, it still very much has the air of a small desert town. I had a 4 hour stopover there, and wandered around a bit. Basically 20 buildings plunked down in the middle of the desert (with suburbs that run on for miles and miles). It was amazing how much it reminded me of the UAE. Although it was in many ways very different, the vegetation was similar, the sand/dirt was similar, and a very intangible something in the air smelled similar. It was eerie in a way, but also so welcomeing. And as I said, it was so nice and warm; the sun was shining. Ahhh... nostalgia can wreak such havok with someone's mind. So what else and what now? Not much, I'm afraid. I'm in Austin for a couple of days, after which I return (again by bus) to Vancouver, arriving next Saturday. 106 days total. And I will return, whether I so wish or not, older but I'm afraid not much wiser. And still with little to no idea of what to do next. I have spent uncountless hours on the buses recently (eating hamburgers and) going over and over in my mind. Still no closer to the elusive "solution" than when I left. I begin to believe that I am going about this the wrong way, although that realization of course offers no indication of what the "right" way may be. And so I sit, going round in circles, yet having come in no full circle. Ever in limbo. The future... and what is it to bring? I would have liked at this point to include as a final note some more of my attempted poetry or song lyrics that would serve as a conclusion. But I find it would be redundant; I can't come up with anything that would sum it up better than something already written. So I borrow those of someone else: "...'Kathy, I'm lost,' I said, Though I knew she was sleeping, 'I'm empty and aching and I don't know why. Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike, They've all come to look for America.'..."